LOS ANGELES - Noah Westbunker, warden of The Zsa Zsa Gabor Prison For Women, opened the cell door to jail cell #69, and escorted prisoner #362436, aka Lindsay Lohan to the front iron gate and freedom.
Warden Westbunker removed Lohan's handcuffs, ankle shackles, and chastity belt (which he says he had personally installed for her own good) and he told Miss Lohan that he did not want to ever see her cute little butt in his prison again.
LiLo smiled and asked him if he was gay or what. Westbunker laughed and said that he is not gay, and that it was just that he wished her well with her film and partying career and that he would not mind hooking up with her somewhere away from the prison, the media, and the hundreds of lesbian inmates that occupy his prison.
Lindsay giggled and said, "But Warden Westy, did you forget that I am one of them so called carpet munchers or what?"
Warden Westbunker turned three shades of pink and told Lohan to have a good day. He gave her a very passionate French kiss, and softly fondled her ass for about 35 seconds.
As Lohan turned to get into a waiting limo a reporter for 16 Magazine asked her if she had any comments. Lohan, ever the media hound grinned and said that she had learned her lesson and promised that she would never, ever rob a bank again.
All of the reporters and paparazzi got a collective puzzled look on their faces. When Lohan realized what she had said she laughed and said "Oops! I was just pullin' y'alls collective legs."
One reporter, Titus Peterpit, with National Geographic Magazine said that if she wanted to he would be thrilled to let her pull his pecker. She giggled and said that she was sure he would be but noted that she is not into peckers and that she is more the bikini burger type.
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